Friday, September 12, 2008

Gotta Love that Ass...

I have been chassing this girl forever
Im borderline stalking this chick
I cant get her out of my head
Im daydreaming about her
fantasising about her in my sleep

and lets just say that I might have some self inflicted
scars on my "Mr Thomson" to this day....

ok..relax...we were all young once
and theres nothing wrong with exploring your
body 12 times + a day

Anyways, after months of trying to hook up with her
I finally get her to come to the movies with me
I was crazy excited of course...
but I made sure to deploy the soldiers b4 my date
as not to be packing a loaded gun itching to shoot one off.
Clever move, I thought....but fate had other plans for
our evening of passion and "explosions"

Everything was cool, we where at the theatre, my arm around her
waist, waiting for our popcorn, feeling like a king...on top of the world....


Its dark now
we are sitting up against each other
holding hands, rubbin, lovin the moment
everything is perfect....
and then it came...

deep in my stomach
like I was cursed
why now?
these are the explosions that fate had in store for me?
OMG, am I wearing white boxers?

So I told her I had to go to the bathroom "fast fast"
I would be right back
in reality it was more like... if I didnt go fast, I would shit myself
something reeeeaaalll big was brewing up inside of me
like I was about to give birth to a girafe

When I finally got to the bathroom stall, I was shitting even b4 my ass
hit the was fucking crazy!!!
the loudest, smelliest, dirtiest shit I ever took in my life
I must have been throwing up out of my asshole for a good 10 min
a mix of liquid and solid
there was a war going on inside of me and I really wasnt winning....

Drained, embarassed and fucking broken from all the physical strain
I got out of the bathroom, only to find that the people outside heard everything.
What was I to do...go back to see her and have to explain why I was gone for over
15 min and smell like I fell in the sewer....FUCK THAT

I left...
didnt pick up her calls....
lost my chance at THE GIRL...
Gotta Love That Ass...

Bad Scene....

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